On Dialogue (Pt 1): Thinking Outside The Quotation Marks

How to write dialogue that reveals layers of personality.

I’ve been thinking a lot about writing and editing dialogue recently and what makes dialogue in a manuscript “good.” In writing this post, I realized I had a lot to say about dialogue (this is a shock to no one, I know). So I’m trying something new! I’m doing my first ever two part series on the blog. The next blog post is also going to focus on ways to think about dialogue and what elevates dialogue in a manuscript.  

What is good dialogue? How do you write dialogue that feels alive? We know that dialogue in books is not the same as dialogue in real life, but we understand that it needs to emulate an element of reality and authenticity to how we speak. 

In books, dialogue is not meant to read the same way a real-life conversation does. In an actual conversation, people stutter, they use filler words and phrases, they trail off, they lose their train of thought and then return to that thought an hour into the conversation. They interrupt each other. They finish each other’s sentences or repeat key phrases the other person is saying. Real life conversations are often long and meandering. If we read dialogue in books that sounded like a real life conversation it would be aggravating to read. I think book dialogue is actually closest to screenplay dialogue. Like books, dialogue on the screen is very intentional. 

But in Film and TV, part of the actor’s job is to fill in the spaces between the script and the image. Actors add tone, body language, and physicality to the words in the script. They fill in the gaps between what is said, and how it’s said. 

In books, it’s a writer’s job to do both. I read a lot of dialogue in manuscripts that focuses too much on speech (the what) and not enough on the ways in which the sppech fits into a scene (the how). I often find myself encouraging writers to think about speech as one of many scene-building tools. Speech alone can’t do all the heavy-lifting; tone and physicality matter too.    

Let’s return again to film and TV. Have you ever seen those videos where the script of a movie is shown side-by-side with the actual film on screen? This script-to-screen clip from Call Me By Your Name is such a good example of the interplay between what is being said and how it is said. Watch how Elio and his father’s characters are interacting. Notice how Elio’s body language is pretty closed off at the beginning of this scene, and less so towards the middle of the scene. Notice how it’s changed because of what his father is saying. Pay attention to his father’s tone, and how that informs the tone of the scene for the viewer as well. That relationship between what they are saying and how they are saying it adds nuance and layers to these characters. It makes them feel more alive, more real, more authentic. It impacts the scene in so many ways.

Of course, what people say reveals a lot about them: their worldview, emotions, and interpretations. But how they say it matters just as much. Good dialogue has layers of personality.

People don’t all speak the same way, and neither should your characters. Dialogue is a way to show personality. Consider how a serious vs. humorous person would say: “Oh, I hate that.”

People have different personalities, and so should your characters. Dialogue is one of the tools in your writing toolbox that you can use to show us a character’s personality. Consider how a serious vs humorous person would say, “Oh, I hate that.” I’m the kind of person who would say that with a laugh. My best friend is the kind of person who would avoid your eyes or fidget with an object in front of her if she were to say that. We carry our personalities in what we say and how we say it. Dialogue that sounds “natural” and authentic on the page, then, has to take these elements into account.
Consider this example from Lillian Fishman’s Acts of Service. This scene takes place in the book’s second chapter when Eve and Olivia meet for the first time at a bar after Olivia responds to some nudes Eve posted online. Eve walks up to Olivia’s table, where she is already seated with a paperback book and a glass of water. Fishman’s style doesn’t adhere to quotation marks, so be prepared. Here you go:

Do you want anything? she said when I had seated myself across from her. A beer or something? 

Not yet. 

I’m sorry, Olivia said. I don’t even know your name. What’s your name? 

Eve. 

She blushed violently, like a middle-school girl. This was not what I had expected from the person who responded to my pictures, and yet it filled me with a warm confidence— the anticipation that I might settle and subdue her,  and that she would look up at me with gratitude. 

Olivia, I said, I’m glad you messaged me. It was a surprise. But it’s nice to meet you. 

Why did you pick my message? Olivia said. Or— I suppose you could have responded to plenty of the messages, excuse me. 

Are you fishing for a compliment? 

No, no, Olivia said, and she pulled the book halfway up toward her chest before catching herself and laying it back face-down on the table. 

Well, you can have one, I said. Your hair— it’s stunning. I noticed that right away on your profile. 

All right, stop, please. 

I liked your message too. So polite. 

Oh, Olivia said. This time I did see disappointment cross her face—she was ashamed of being liked for her politeness. 

What? You know it was polite. I liked that. 

Good, she said, without conviction. 

I’ve obviously included this passage because I think Fishman does a wonderful job in revealing layers of personality.

What does this dialogue reveal about these two characters? We can tell that Olivia is a shy person who is easily embarrassed. Eve, however, comes across as very confident and somewhat brash. She seems to like making Olivia squirm. We get the sense that she is enjoying this exchange. When she calls Olivia out on the politeness of her message— a message Olivia sent in response to a nude— we can tell that Olivia doesn’t like it, even though she says “good.” But we can tell because of how she says it, and this, too reveals something about her personality. 

Dialogue isn’t just about words; it’s about the layers of personality that shape them. Good dialogue uses that relationship between the what and the how to reveal these layers of personality. The what and the how don’t always have to be in opposition or agreement with one another, but the relationship between them matters, and is something that writers (and editors!) should pay attention to. The best dialogue reflects the complexities of real people—their quirks, insecurities, the emotions they don’t say outright. It’s not just about what characters say but how they say it— and what they choose to leave unsaid.

In the next blog post, we’ll dive into writing dialogue that serves the characters and take a look at some examples from romcoms. Stay tuned!